Butt Munch: Father's Day Edition

What was supposed to be a laid back, routine Father's Day BBQ turned out to be a shocking and appauling ordeal.

And this is why.

Really?? European Ass Italian cookies?? This is broken and stupid in so many ways. How should assortment be abbreviated? Assort. or Ast. if and only if you're really desperate. Second, European, Italian, both? Maybe if you leave out EITHER European OR Italian you'd have room to type assortment instead of ASS HOLE.

Other thoughts and meanderings...
Maybe it was the same hilarious child who types up failed fortune cookie fortunes who wrote this and thought it was hilarious. If this is so, then this is indeed hilarious, so congratulations.
Maybe these really are ass cookies and I am being presumptous in my accusation of a typo.

In order to further examine whether or not these were indeed ass cookies Jessie et al. (2010) used measures of shape, color, general appearance and taste. There were 5 subtypes of cookies (see Image 2). Neither taste nor color yielded significant results. However, shape and general appearance of one subtype of cookie was significant (p<.001), such that this particular cookie was deemed an ass cookie. See Image 1 below.

Image 1. Subtype significant for Ass featuers.

 Image 2. Subtypes of cookies.

Conclusions:

Results indicate that one subtype of five total subtypes of "European Ass Italian Cookies" reached significance on measures of shape and general appearance of an Ass. While these results occured at levels greater than chance, the overwhelming majority of cookies did not meet Ass criteria. Further research on Ass cookies and the possible psychological implications of consuming Ass cookies is still needed.