Girl Anachronism

It's not uncommon for me to find myself in age-inappropriate places...I'm either doing something only old men enjoy or something only 4 year old girls enjoy. I can count on one hand the times I've been in the correct demographic in the past year....One probably being seeing The Hangover in a movie theater. 

This weekend was sort of one of those situations.

First, husband and I went to the drive-in movies. This is like a double whammy anachronism because first of all drive-in movie theaters' popularity peaked in the 1950's. Presently, the usual patrons of drive-ins are carloads of Mommys, Daddys and a bunch of children. 

On this particular occasion, we drove in husband's lime synergy green Camaro and were literally the kings of white trash Christmas. Children ran around screaming their heads off about how "sick" and "hawwwesome" the car was and we did our best not to rush them down when we were looking for a spot. Also, we got there 45 minutes early and we were probably the last ones there. All the families had been there for like 2 hours playing catch and eating icecream and getting a way better spot than us.

The reason I like drive-in movies is because I can be extra talkative during the movie (husband would consider this a down-side), there is a double feature, and I can bring my own iced coffee in a little cooler to keep me awake during the double feature (see, I'm an old person).

For our own amusement, we played hilarious kid-songs in our car with the windows down before the show started to see if we could make all of the youth get up and dance in a sitcom-like fantasy sequence 

Yo Gabba Gabba!!! bahhhhh. It didn't work.

The other part of my weekend was spent going to the town fair. Both the thrill and the safety of this fair has declined over the years but I couldn't bear to miss it. I took one friend with me and while we had originally planned on going at 8pm--when all the cool kids go and when there are fireworks--we instead decided to go at 3pm. We were literally one of a total six parties there. Parties, meaning father-daughter pairs, or families.

We rode the most thrilling rides possible without spending millions of dollars: the Ferris wheel, the caterpillar roller coaster, the cliff glider and the haunted house. Throughout, I was pretty much out of my mind and she was pretty much scared and sad

Sigh.

Okay, but finally, let me explain this Cliff Hanger situation

You literally lie on your stomach on this thing and Mr. Carnie clamps you down a little bit and it swoops up and down and goes around a million times and you feel dizzy, drunk, and like you're flying. It was my favorite and also I've never seen anything like it before. Great job, town fair, you get an A+.

Butt Munch: Father's Day Edition

What was supposed to be a laid back, routine Father's Day BBQ turned out to be a shocking and appauling ordeal.

And this is why.

Really?? European Ass Italian cookies?? This is broken and stupid in so many ways. How should assortment be abbreviated? Assort. or Ast. if and only if you're really desperate. Second, European, Italian, both? Maybe if you leave out EITHER European OR Italian you'd have room to type assortment instead of ASS HOLE.

Other thoughts and meanderings...
Maybe it was the same hilarious child who types up failed fortune cookie fortunes who wrote this and thought it was hilarious. If this is so, then this is indeed hilarious, so congratulations.
Maybe these really are ass cookies and I am being presumptous in my accusation of a typo.

In order to further examine whether or not these were indeed ass cookies Jessie et al. (2010) used measures of shape, color, general appearance and taste. There were 5 subtypes of cookies (see Image 2). Neither taste nor color yielded significant results. However, shape and general appearance of one subtype of cookie was significant (p<.001), such that this particular cookie was deemed an ass cookie. See Image 1 below.

Image 1. Subtype significant for Ass featuers.

 Image 2. Subtypes of cookies.

Conclusions:

Results indicate that one subtype of five total subtypes of "European Ass Italian Cookies" reached significance on measures of shape and general appearance of an Ass. While these results occured at levels greater than chance, the overwhelming majority of cookies did not meet Ass criteria. Further research on Ass cookies and the possible psychological implications of consuming Ass cookies is still needed.

M is for Murder

I took an evening nature walk by myself. Being alone left me vulnerable to punks and murderers so I was sure to arm myself with my Epi-pen prior to setting forth.

M is also for Middlesex Path, which was a short, simple little diddy but ended up having some character. First of all, there were multiple points at which I was confronted with a fork in a road which is normally an oppurtunity to choose between two legit options. In this case, the path was so straight forward that when there was a fork is basically meant it is going to lead somewhere awkward. So, I scoped out the awkward options.

Ah-ha....Train tracks. Not super awkward or exciting.

Second fork

This path lead up a hill and ended in a make-shift mogul...bike...park. Which can only mean one thing: Beware of punkz.

I was sure to pull out my epi-pen at this point just in case some Xtreme children came rushing by. There were actually two bikers but they seemed to be pulled over and talking quietly and respectfully amongst themselves. Good thing, or else they would've got an epi-pen to the heart.




So at this point, I was rating this path a 2.5 of 5 stars, because besides the prospect of punkz and perhaps railroad hobos, it wasn't super thrilling.

However, when I returned to the head of the path, there is an option to cross the street and walk next to Lake Cochituate, so I did that and that is where the happy ending comes in

Benches, water and trees--Things that are like crack to me. I had a lovely sit and the rating of this path skyrocketed to a 3.7...(I can't bring myself to give it a 4).

I tried to steal the bench but it was chained down.

Dude, it's a Dell

Gasp! Nuni's in a box!
(This is equivalent to saying: "Nuni is a cat"; "Nuni has a tail".)

Homemakings

I've cooked and baked multiple times in the last few days for a variety of reasons that don't matter. What matters is how much I love making these particular things and how fancy I feel.

For dinner two nights ago I made chicken, spinach, mushroom risotto. Reasons why I love making risotto are as follows: it requires several things going on at once which necessitates timing things right and having a method to your madness

I cook the chicken in the skillet beforehand and set it aside. Then I heat up a separate pot of broth because as you add broth to the rissotto it needs to be warm not cold or else you'll freak out the rice.

The other reason I like rissotto is because it tastes rich and decadent but it is a decently healthy meal when you add protein and vegetables. And third, having risotto for dinner in general sounds fancy.

Tonight I did a baking extravaganza that included Fresh Strawberry Bars and chocolate dipped strawberries. Better Homes and Gardens magazine likes to call them fresh strawberry bars but I'd more likely use the name "peanut butter and jelly explosion in your face" bars. The base is essentially sugar, butter and peanut butter.

The top will be strawberry jam + fresh strawberries. Oooh look fruit, so virtuous! Anyway, when I've made them in the past, people have had brain aneurysms because they're so good, so I decided to make them one more time for another get together.

And finally, chocolate covered strawberries which I've never made before but ended upbeing pretty easy with my makeshift double boiler and dainty strawberry dipping fingers.

Favorite part, obvs

the licking process.

My winnings

Yesterday I went bowling. My ususal strategy is 'don't think too much' and have a solid follow through. Probably neither of these are legitimately good methods but it works...sometimes. Pretty much I'm really inconsistent and my first game I went from gutter ball gutter ball gutter ball strike spare spare. So...All or nothing.

My second game, I was consistently AMAZING and got millions of strikes...Lies. But, I won and also made a personal records

That's me. The one that won. The one with the score of 121. And now that I look more closely it appears that I only had one strike, not a million. But mostly spares and..8's.

This morning I went to the town's farmers market which had a lot of lettuce, breads, cookies and earrings? I tried samples of stuff but I didn't really want any of that. But, how can you go away empty handed?

 

 

Annnnnd, my winnings

Salmon ovaries and green tea icecream

I went to the famed sushi buffet, Minado, yesterday and it was a glorious experience. $28 and change for cold and hot entrees, salads and all you can eat sushi. This basically allowed me to stuff myself AND try types of sushi that I wouldn't normally try if I were left to ordering a roll or two in a restaurant. My most dicey choice was this one

So shiny and bubbly wubbly. Unfortunately the little guy tipped over and I had to put some of his ripe internal ovaries (thank you wikipedia for defining salmon roe more clearly for me. I'm now having nightmares and flashbacks.) back in their seaweed wrapping.

Anyway, I already knew I'd not like this because of the idea and the popping sensations but I went for it. Confirmed--did not enjoy the popping sensation or the idea of the popping sensation. The taste was fine, blandish, saltyish, BUT there was a point at which (I don't know if it was the point that they all released their little ovary juice in my mouth) but it tasted indescribably terrible and I thought I'd puke. But that passed and whatever it was fine.

All the other sushi and food I had was great but of course I only took a picture of the monstrous one.

And this is my green tea icecream that I refused to eat with a spoon because I prefer cones. So..I made do and just looked awkward and embarrassing.

Relatedly, this is the icecream novelty that we presently have in our house

I've only had a Iron Man (obvious choice) one so far

What is a rabbit's favorite kind of music? Hip Hop.

 

Wah wah look at me look at me I'm so important

Subtitle: I am a hobo

Sometimes I have days where I go from school to work (i.e. unpaid internship) to another event and there is usually a trip to the gym thrown in there. When I leave the house in the morning on days like this, this is what my bag situation looks like

Let me introduce you to the gang. From left to right: Red whole foods reusable bag used as lunch bag containing at least 2 square meals and several snacks
Back row, my "work" bag that I stuff with way too much psychology reading material and treatment manuals, please note the double water bottle holders one on each side--essential for my constant intravenous intake of water and coffee
Front row, cheetah laptop bag purchased from ebags in high school.
My hipster flannel/mixed material school bag that has nothing in it besides a single notebook and a chapstick.
My gym big.

So, first of all, I feel like a hobo. Second of all, I refuse to take this down to my car in more than one trip so I'm going to eventually break a hip or pull out my back. And then I'll feel like an old man, instead.

Some times I have free time, like when I have only one morning class and no work to go to (I reiterate: unpaid internship). Today that was spent going to my new primary care physician and I told her all of my unsubstantiated woes like "I think this is cancer" (it's not), "Is this what a heart attack feels like"? (no), "My bowel ranges from irritable to slightly preturbed" (cry about it). The result of that is that I'm healthy and

a bad ass bandage

A cholestoral finger prick

I don't remember what this was but I sure didn't like it. Also that's a just picture of my shoulder even though it looks like porno.

Flower through

The weather has been pretty bogus for the last two days, alternating between sunny, pouring, and pouring while sunny. So, a lot of this

Sunday was the only actual day of notably severe weather when the sky turned black within seconds and sheets of water were hitting and pouring down the windows and lighting was striking me in the face. I never know how to actually feel about lighting because part of me is invincible and I'm all, "Whatevs I've never died showering during lighting before, it probably won't happen this time". The other part of me is absolutely certain that lighting can sneak up on me from anywhere including electrical wires, the toilet, my cat; and I get very paranoid.
I think there was a bunch of downed trees and some electrical lines but the only consequence for me was this

And 3 rainbow sightings in the last 3 days. So, I'm not complaining.

In other climate news...
I have been planning on painting a picture of an azalea and before doing so I looked on the internets for pictures but they were pretty crappy and didn't give me the detail that I wanted. Observe:

How many petals does that have? What are the shape of the leaves? Where the stamons at? Right?! So, I went in search of buying my own but all of the garden stores I went to said that they didn't have them because they had already "flowered through" (what do I look like, a doctor?). But then husband found one at home depot (of course) and bought it for me and it was all flowery and good like the one above, except less blurry....

So I painted my background...

...waited for it to dry....

Went outside to fetch my flouw-flouw...

...Fail. It had "flowered through"? For one thing, it got pummeled by rain but also I think they are legit past season. So...I'll be painting a blurry azalea. The end.

Human Centepede

On Saturday I saw Metropolis which is a German sci-fi from 1927 directed by Fritz Lang. Apparently, it hasn't been viewed in its entirety since then because shortly after its 154 minute original version was debuted in Berlin, an hour was edited out to allow stewpid Amurricans to tolerate it.

While some of the footage remains lost, most of it has been recovered from various museums and through editing and extra inserted frames that describe the missing action, an 149 minute version was being shown at the Coolidge Corner theater.

First of all, it was a silent movie meaning no speaking, but there was an action-packed sound track. Also, like I said, it was 2 hours and 29 minutes which is hard for me because I don't do anything for more than like 25 minutes without getting antsy. Even after all those hits against it, it was good movie and also extremely impressive given that it was made in the 20's and still had some decent sets, actions and sciency fictiony stuff. Also, the task of resurrecting lost, destroyed, and shat on film stock must have been pretty hard.

In addition to movie-viewing I bought some candy. The most important type of the candy I bought was
licorice bears

These are great because only me and 70 year old men like black licorice meaning I didn't have to share my candy with any of the 20something men that I was with.

Clever gardens

I brought my camera with me on a walk the other day. This walk was more of neighborhood walk: sidewalks, houses, humanity, accidental crossing of highways, etc.

I didn't know if there'd be anything picture worthy but then I took one picture of cleverly planted flowers

...and shortly thereafter a theme began to emerge

First of all, I'm pretty jealous of flowers in front of houses in general and am always looking forward to a time when a) I have my own house b) I know enough about flowers and gardening and b) have enough disposable income to buy the amount of soil and fertilizers and gardening tools that gardening require--To plant my own beautiful garden that perfectly color coordinates with my house.

Second, these are some pretty whimsical displays and I really appreciate the thought that went into them.

Oh also, this

reminds me of McGregors garden and Peter Rabbit. You?