More flags, more fun? Or the harsh underbelly of Six Flags.

I'm not saying I didn't have a great time at Six Flags this past weekend. The trick to it was avoiding the rides that made my brain hit my skull during last year's trip. This includes the Mind Eraser and any of the wooden roller coasters (circa 1983!). The newer ones, Batman and Bizarro are more thrilling and more smooth and do not make my skeleton rock around; which is nice.

But this isn't about the Six Flags of fun I had at Six Flags. This is about the threatening and awkward parts of my day because..Because.

First of all, their mascot is an old man. Second of all, the mascot is a young man dressed as an old man. And furthermore, their mascot is an old man.


When husband and I were waiting for some of our peeps to complete a ride that we were not going on, we figured we could waste time on a harmless ride with a short line. We chose the Scrambler. It's more like a classic local carnival ride than a Six Flags thriller. I'd dare say it was a family-friendly ride.

But, it is not until you are clamped in and ready to go that you realize how horrifying the ride is. There are even graphic depictions of the life threatening injuries that you may incur, shown right in the seat back pocket handle bar

.

Could we please get a close up of the horrors?

That's right. If you dare to stand up and open the safety bar while the ride is moving, you will be very, very unhappy and your mouth will forever be distorted into the shape of a mushroom cap. Needless to say, we did not, absolutely DID NOT stand up and open our safety bar when the ride was moving.


Another thing that we did not do was use our cell phone, camera or mp3 player on the rides

A 5 year trespass ejection??? Without refund???

Also, how do they keep track of that? 5 years?

Also, there was another sign on a different ride that said "Immediate rejection from the park", but no 5 year trespass situation. This is like poor parenting: inconsistent punishment leads to acting out. And I felt very tempted to act out.

And finally, if you were wondering--as one does--Batman is 6'2'', 210lbs with black hair and blue eyes. Oh and his cowl is kevlar-lined


(Cowl: (from the Latin, cuculla meaning "hood and rope") is a hood worn by members of religious orders)


(Kevlar: is the registered trademark for a para-aramid synthetic fiber, related to other aramids such as Nomex and Technora. Developed at DuPont in 1965)