Cat Intro Stage One: Pay no attention to the cat behind the curtain!

I am pleased to introduce you to Beatrix Kiddo, our 10 week old kitten adopted from the MSPCA in Boston on Jan 10th, 2011. We have wanted to get a playmate for Nuni because she is bored during the day and is a very playful cat so we knew she wouldn't mind some extra play toysmates.

 

Despite the acquisition being in Nuni's best interest, we knew it'd take a while for her to recognize the benefits of our decision. Until then, we knew she'd be pissed. Introduction, therefore, is necessarily slow so Beatrix has been quarantined to our dining room which has been equipped with blankets, pillows, cat bed(s), and fluffy toys.

For the first two days, we blocked off the crack in the door so that they couldn't possibly interact. Despite this, Nuni would sit and growl and hiss at the door. Let it be known that seeing this is a really traumatic and heartbreaking experience for me because all I want is my Nuni to be happy and she is so very mad and possibly sad.

After a few days, we eliminated the blockade so that they could sniff and bat at each other. We also would bring Bea out in her carrier into the living room so she was safe from Nuni's grasp but Nuni could see what the hell has been hiding in the other room.

 

 Please notice angry Nuni lurking in the crack of the door. Watch out Bea!!!!

 

It's coming to get you!!!

Nuni says, "WTF IS THIS".

You can't hear it through the picture but Nuni is making a very horrifying grumbling growling sound.

Throughout this process, Beatrix has been calm, cool and collected and just sits and listens empathically to Nuni's anger.

The next segment of their introduction will involve letting Beatrix loose in Nuni's domain. Coming soon! Until then, be sure that Nuni remains mad and Beatrix remains unfazed.

A How-To Guide for the Holidays

One thing that I have down to a science is celebrating Christmas and New Years. Both holidays have been functioning in a similar fashion for the past 8 years and I can safely say that I am an authority on the topic and am entitled to instructing you on how to similarly enjoy these holidays.

Christmas Eve is an essential part of the Christmas celebration and must include a yankee swap. Some prefer the term, "the grab" or "the white elephant", but those people are wrong and the only accurate term to use is yankee swap. Our yankee swap has ebbed and flowed in levels of classiness over the years and I think this year it was at a peak. Of course, that's assuming that the definition of class is alcohol and food gadgets. Given the past years where gift choices have included oversized underwear and NC-17 rated sexual paraphernalia, I'd say we've thankfully hit a high.

I personally brought a no-bake gingerbread house making kit and Adam brought a classy selection of two BBQ sauces and a hot sauce. Not to spoil the end, but I tragically ended up being traded from and given the BBQ sauces. We are considering returning them for cash since we have the receipt.

All I really wanted was this reindeer pillow pet so I promptly stole it from the person before me. Because pillow pets are where it's at, it was stolen from me shortly thereafter, thereby leaving me with BBQ sauce.

If one were to do an anthropological study on our family yankee swap in order to deduce our value systems and our culture, one would conclude that we subsist off of hard alcohol and junk food. Here is just a selection because everything else at the swap was essentially just duplicates on the same theme

If you were wondering, Adam ended up with the chocolate fountain. Which really means that I ended up with a chocolate fountain.

Moving on to Christmas day. It is essential to only get 5 hours of sleep the night before, wake up at dawn and eat cinammon buns and open gallons of presents from your in-laws

Now, while I said I was an expert on the topic of Christmas, I never said I was a member of the corresponding religion. To delineate this for the family, I am made to wear a Hanukkah Hat

I can not cover the vast amounts of gifts that I received, so I will show the most important ones

A dis-member-able zombie

Two different types of donut makers. Importantly, however, the one on the left makes donuts while the one on the right makes a donut-shaped cake. Not a cake-shaped donut. Got it?

And beccause all I really want in the world are the tools with which to entertain my cat

I wear my interests on my sleeve and therefore receive very appropriate gifts.

While opening gifts and, in fact, beginning about 18 hours before you open gifts, it is important to be watching A Christmas Story on repeat on TBS.

It's a pink nightmare!!!

Now, just like the holidays, this blog entry is necessarily never-ending as we now must examine the appropriate New Years Eve procedures.

To begin, you must utilize any applicable Christmas gifts in preparation for your New Years Eve party. Such as your donut-cake molds.

Next you must have guests bring drink umbrellas to put in whatever variety of alcohol you will be drinking that evening, regardless of it's level of girliness

You must play at least three board games.

One of which MUST be Cranium

And one of which MUST require you to create a snorkel out of household items and wear it for the remainder of the evening

To ancient times and distant music, indeed!

For intake, there must be inordinate amounts of champagne and chinese food

 

To decompress after a long evening, New Years Eve television offers the oppurtunity to watch has-been musical stars do mash-ups of their has-been hits. Here, clearly, I refer to the Backstreet Boys and New Kids On The Block

And, as always, please provide a comfortable and safe hiding environment for your cat

How lovely are your branches

First, by way of apology, the only reason I haven't been blogging is because I haven't been doing anything besides playing 'hot lava hot lava' with Nuni

 

 

 

 To make it up to Nuni, we got her a Christmas tree. Nuni likes Christmas trees because a) she thinks she's a present and b) she prefers pine-flavored water to nothing-flavored water.

 

 

We take great care in choosing our Christmas tree. Typically we like tall ones that have grinch-head type tops that hit our ceiling (see 2009)

This year, we switched it up and went with a shorter, but dumpier fuller tree. Like our minds and our home, our tree ornaments are a horrifying disaster charming motley collection. Here is a catalog of my favorites

On the top of our tree is, of course, the crowning glory

Ducky finger puppet!!!!! My explanation? At the boston bazaar bizarre a few years back I was in search of my first Christmas ornaments to put on my own first Christmas tree. I didn't see any sick ornaments that I loved but you bet your hole I loved these wonky-eyed animal finger puppets. Luckily, tree branches are shaped like fingers. Finger puppets courtesy of soto softies

How could I stop at just one? I couldn't.

Lion gets sad if you don't put him on the right branch

 

A more traditional favorite is my favorite scene from How the Grinch Stole Christmas

 

If you look closely you can see my star of david ornament in the background. This is because we don't celebrate Christmas, we celebrate family.  

Jealous?

 

Another classy feature of our tree are the three types of lights

Mini

 

Large bubble

LED

Thankfully, Nuni doesn't really disrupt the tree except for drinking the potentially poisonous water. And watches over the other ornaments while we're gone